She Was the Sweetest Little Boy?

Yup. You read that correctly, she was a boy. No, I haven't suddenly lost the ability to use pronouns. Sometimes, the pronoun just doesn't quite work ~ because sometimes, the gender doesn't quite work. Sometimes your little boy grows up depressed and anxious. It's almost as though he doesn't fit in his own skin. Then one day you learn he really doesn't. He is terribly uncomfortable in his own skin because she is really a woman.

When she told one friend the response was, "That explains so much!" In retrospect, there were clues. In high school, he was cutting. Boys rarely cut, it is far more common (although still rare) for a cutter to be a girl. He didn't date much, we only knew of one girlfriend.  When given a box of 64 Crayolas, he got excited about all those colors, not the quantity ~ he could actually see sixty-four different colors. He's vegetarian, and not because of a girl. When shown pictures of cute kittens, he says. "Awwwww." Of course, when we found out he liked boys we decided these girlish traits were because he's gay. Wrong.

He's not gay. He is she. My son is really my daughter. She is transgender. She is the reason for this blog. It's difficult to find information for the parents of a transgender adult child. If I find helpful sites, I'll provide the links. As the transition unfolds, I'll share the story. I make no promises as to when I'll update, so if you want read every post you'll need to check back regularly, or follow me. (Like how I encourage followers ~ that was subtle wasn't it?)

She has asked that I not use names. This is not from any sense of shame, but a wish for privacy and for security. Transition is tough enough with supportive family & friends, and unsupportive coworkers. There is no need to allow random, potentially hostile strangers to identify her or her friends. Also, using initials means I don't have to ask every single person I mention if I can use their names, and I'm lazy.

Transition, the process of converting the outside to match the inside, takes a great deal of time, money and an unbelievable amount of strength & courage. Fortunately, E. is the strongest woman I know. She is tremendously brave. She has a beautiful heart. She was the sweetest little boy. And now she's an amazing woman.