When I was expecting for the third time, lots, and I mean lots of people said, "I bet you're hoping for a girl!" I responded in the negative, stressing the advantages of having all boys. "With all boys, we can use the third bedroom for a den!" "With all boys, we can use hand-me-downs to save money!" "With all boys, I'll never have to live with a teenage girl!"
I was soooooooooooooo wrong!
We didn't get a den until the first child moved out. In fact, when E was a teenager, she wanted her own room desperately (okay, that's fair) so we built a fourth bedroom in the basement. Hand-me-downs! What a hoot! Those kids were so hard on their clothes that child #3 had an almost entirely new wardrobe. What he didn't get new was usually only worn before by one sibling. Everything seemed to wear out after two (sometimes only one) child. But at least I wouldn't have to deal with a teenage girl. Teenage girls are annoying. They are whiny. They are bitchy. They have entirely too much drama.
Even when I learned that E was truly female, that she would be taking estrogen, it still didn't register. I was still in the mindset of no drama. After all, E is an adult.
I was soooooooooooooo wrong!
When you start on hormones, they affect you. Usually E is the same person I've known forever, like tremendously, and love with every fiber of my being. Usually. Sometimes, I have no clue who this girl is and I'm not at all sure I like her ~ but I still love her with every fiber of my being. You see, chronologically, she is in her mid-twenties, but hormonally, she's about fourteen. And like any fourteen-year-old girl, her brain is still adjusting to this estrogen crap. Some days, she is just freaking bitchy, über sensitive and oozing drama. I don't like this. It is wrong. Dadburnit! I am the only drama queen in my house!
Uh. . . did I say that out loud? Oops.
When my first child was young, I found myself apologizing to my mother. A lot. He kept doing things that I used to do that exasperated Mom twenty-some years before ~ best one was wandering off in stores (now I understand why that upset her so). If I called her and almost immediately apologized, she'd ask what J did now. He was a handful. His younger siblings were easier, but that's mostly because I had experience. They were their own people, with their own personalities, and their own ways to wig out their mother, I just learned how to cope.
I was a pretty nice teenage girl, but I was still a teenage girl ~ annoying, whiny, bitchy, dramatic. E is nicer than I am, she has always been sweet. But she is still a teenage girl, getting used to living with estrogen. She waited a long time for that wonderful stuff, the chemical her brain was seeking while her clueless parents stupidly proffered Prozac. She is happy now (HOORAY!) but she is still a teenage girl getting used to womanhood. She is wonderful. And, occasionally, annoying, whiny, bitchy & dramatic.
This doesn't affect how we feel about her ~ but it does sometimes affect how much time I want to spend with her.
E, sweetie, I love you with every fiber of my being.
Mom, I'm sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment