Irreplaceable

People I admire and respect invited me to see Irreplaceable. I will not and it pains me that I was sent an invitation. Do they not understand how hurtful this attitude is? Watch this trailer and you will begin to understand. I deeply value the traditional family: Mom, Dad & the Wee Ones.  That is ideal, but looking like a freaking Barbie doll is also an ideal. Focus on the Family is so wrapped up in the ideal family that they cannot grasp that other families may be still be wonderful. Focus on the Family is a homophobic group of bigots. They claim to be concerned with the preservation of the traditional family and that modern society is successfully attacking the traditional family.


Families are disintegrating right & left. Cheap, easy, readily available, mostly effective birth control and a plethora of social welfare options have separated sex from from concept of love, commitment and potential parenthood. I raised my children with the knowledge that sex makes babies, all forms of birth control fail and if you don't want a child with this person ~ you don't want sex with this person. In this, I agree with the Far Right. Then the trouble sets in.

Irreplaceable talks about the problem of single parent families and absent fathers. Marriage is so important to families and to society. Children need two parents and society needs well-adjusted children. But, one parent is better than none and sometimes it's even better than two. I prefer adoption, but, to be honest, I know some wonderful people who kept that born-out-of-wedlock child and they're doing a great job.

Sometimes parents need to be stern and sometimes they need to be indulgent and sometimes both. When Dad punishes and Mom comforts (Sweetie, I know you're hurt that Daddy said you can't watch TV, but you were naughty and there are consequences to bad behavior) the child sees balance and learns responsibility. With two parents, the child has twice the chance that a parent will share an interest. But those two parents can be the same sex. Men and women are different and bring different things to the table. Children do need male & female role models, but they don't have to live with both ~aunts, uncles & grandparents can fill in the gender gap.

Absent fathers are bad, children need two adults in their life (adults need a partner in the parenthood process too ~ sometimes you have tag out and get a break). But ~ and this is my biggest problem ~ Irreplaceable wants the biological father involved. There are plenty of men who are horrible human beings and should never be allowed near a child. Rape can (albeit, it's uncommon) make a baby. Bringing that life into the world can be healing, but forcing a woman to spend her life with the rapist is beyond sadistic. Pedophiles can procreate, but they should not be fathers. Abusive bastards (are you sensing a theme here?) should be removed from their children's lives. There are plenty of horrible women too. Sad, but true. What of children born to an extra-marital affair?

There are so many cases where the best thing for a child is to be raised by a loving adoptive family (like I was) or a warm biological parent & awesome stepparent. It is far better for any child to be raised with love and respect than strictly by the biological parent. If a parent dies, the remaining parent should be free to remarry if they find a good person. Adoptive couples should be judged on their commitment to one another and they family they want to build, not on their genitals. Families are great, but there is more than one way to build a family. I know of people whose biological parents were disasters, but the stepparent hung around, raised the children and is now the deeply loved grandparent. Biology doesn't make a family. Neither does gender.

My daughter will be a fantastic adoptive mother one day. I pray she gets that opportunity. I pray that no  one focuses so intently on a narrow view of "father" and "mother" that a child is denied the chance to be raised in a loving household.

Focus on the Family & I worship the same triumvirate God, yet they forget that our Savior was raised by a stepfather. If it's good enough for God, well then, by golly, it's good enough for me.