So, E is now officially E. That's right, she legally has a girl's name. Isn't that awesome? We think so, too. She is still officially a male, once her doctor writes a letter stating she has made permanent changes (that doesn't necessitate surgery, it could mean laser hair removal) she can change her legal gender. The name change requires a court order and therefore involved standing before a judge explaining why "he" wanted a new name.
She got her ears pierced and is partial to dangly feminine earrings. E dresses entirely in women's clothes. She wears make-up, not just the foundation to cover her five o'clock shadow, but eye shadow, liner & mascara. In other words, she looks like a girl (probably because she is one).
The other night, E was out with some friends and the waitress came over, all sweetness & light. Then E ordered a drink. E is twenty-four but could pass for eighteen. Naturally, the server asked for ID, and this is where the tip disappears. E's new ID with her pretty feminine name has yet to arrive, her ID still has a male name and masculine picture. The server didn't question her about stealing her brother's ID, which would have been awkward but potentially fun. The server looked closely at the ID, then copped a 'tude. All of a sudden this table is no longer one on which she wishes to wait. She is clearly bothered by the presence of a transwoman in her section.
Do this around me and I guarantee you will not receive a tip. Be obvious enough and I'll complain to your manager. If you're the manager, I'll complain to the owner (or headquarters, if a chain). E didn't make a scene, I don't blame her, she just wants to be one of the girls, not a cause célèbre. It just bites that one bitch in a restaurant can make her feel so bad. No one is transgender by choice. One may choose to hide their true gender and live as others expect or one may choose to be their real self and live as the gender they really are, but one cannot choose their gender anymore than they can choose their orientation.
Why can't people just be polite and civilized to strangers? There is no need to get snarky at someone for issues beyond their control. It makes just as much sense to be rude because someone is transgender as it does to be rude to me because I'm short. On the other hand, I'm half tempted to publish the name of the restaurant so everyone can send a note to their website about they have bitchy servers. I won't, because that would be unfair to all the nice people on staff. I really do want to spit in the waitress's food though. Now, that would be a twist.
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